This is going to be useful when I go on vacation. As I head out to go scuba diving, the usual friends will wonder aloud about me being worried about sharks and being in the water with them. This is usually said as they are sitting on the beach. Underneath a coconut tree. Here is a picture of me, doing the universal "Holy shit, there's a shark" underwater signal. I'm still here to talk about it.
So, to keep yourself safe, I think you should adopt these guidelines:
- Do not walk directly underneath a coconut tree.
- Do not sit under a coconut tree.
- If you hear a rustling sound coming from the top of a coconut tree, RUN.
- If you see somebody in a grocery store hoisting a coconut above their head, RUN.
- If you see a shark, throw a coconut at him.