Blue Jays Are Stalking Me

Several weeks ago, I noticed an agressive blue jay hanging out in my back yard. I just thought that blue jays were always like that and didn't think too much about it. Until my husband said, "Have you noticed the bird's nest in the tree out back?" 

AHA! That makes sense. It also makes sense that there are two of them! Apparently, they mate for life. (I don't know this for sure, I'm just making conversation.) 

About 10 days ago, I came home and went into the office. Several minutes later, I heard a pretty loud commotion. Cat on the counter? Dog on the counter? Dog chasing cat onto the counter? I went into the dining room where I expected to find the guilty animals on the counter in the brownie pan. What I did not expect to find was one of the bluejays in my house, trying to get out the dining room window, and the other bluejay, obviously in distress, outside the window, squawking loudly to his mate,  "Get the hell outta there!" 

I know what you are thinking. You are thinking that my cat grabbed the bird and brought it into the house. I can assure you that is not the case. My 14 year old cat is so lazy (how lazy is she?), that if a bird flies into my neighbors plate glass window and drops to the ground, she will go out and pick it up and bring it to me. She has no interest in eating birds, mice or any other type of rodents. This is obvious if you read the Wocket In My Pocket is Different Than A Mouse In My House post a few months ago. And the other cat is no longer with us, so it wouldn't be her. 

The only things I can think of are: 
  • A) they were trying to rob me when I was gone, 
  • B) they were having a bird party in my house and were in the process of raiding the refrigerator when I came home, and only one of them escaped, or 
  • C) it followed me inside, because I did notice that I left the door open. 

In any case, there is now a bird in the house - freaking out, a cat on the counter (eyeing the brownie pan because I am paying no attention to her) and a dog thinking that I got her a new play toy. 

Luckily, my hubby came home right then. I was in charge of distracting the other animals (the outside bird from the inside bird, the cat from the brownies, and the dog from the bird). We got a sheet and finally caught the poor distraught bird and let her out, but this was quite a process. So was cleaning up the bird shit all over my house. 

Ever since then, I have BOTH bluejays outside whatever window I am looking out of squawking at me. If you have ever heard a bluejay, they are very noisy. If I am in the kitchen, at least one of them is outside staring at me. If I am in the dining room, they are both out there, looking at me from the place where the male was screeching at his mate to get out of there. They have recently discovered what room I sleep in, and they sit outside of it at 6 am, squawking at me. 
I had decided that they were either thanking me, or plotting revenge. (Yes, I read too many horror books.) 

Then I worried that some other bird or predator had stolen the egg(s) out of their nest and they were protesting. 

Yesterday, I heard the baby bird in the nest and saw the mama bird bringing food to it. I let out a sigh of relief, as I do not want these damn bluejays terrorizing me for eons, simply because they think that I took the egg/baby bird. 

This morning, at 6 am, I woke up because not only was the blue jay outside my bedroom window staring at me, but it was on the screen! This is starting to get ridiculous. I was up until after midnight finishing a fabulous scary book (Heart Shaped Box by Joe Hill). I did NOT want to get up at 6am. 

Then I thought that maybe the birds are now my pets and they love me and wanted to tell me that their egg has hatched and they have a baby. I didn't think it was cute. I'm tired. 

As I was sitting here at my desk working, here comes one of the bluejays, outside my window, being incredibly loud and staring at me through the window. 

Then I figured it out. It isn't all about me. Can you see the problem here? 
Wherever I am, the cat is. The birds are screaming at the cat, not me. And now I have 3 bluejays who will probably be waking me up for the rest of my life, because I have been protecting them from the elements (aka animals). And because my cat is wherever I am. And she could care less about the damn birds. In fact, they are interrupting her sleep, as well. 

Maybe I do need to stop reading horror stories. 


Susan said...

So funny, Hayley!

Some of the birds in our yard, especially the jays and crows, love to torture our stuck-inside cats by dive bombing past the windows and just generally teasing them.

I can see that Jazmine is very upset by all this.

Margerie said...

Maybe you could get a cardboard cut out of your cat and put it far, far away from your bedroom window. Those jays are bullies! But I think they love you too.

Once we had a jay sign in at the office. Flew right in the open door to the clipboard where he picked up the pen.

kazooo said...

You did see "The Birds" didn't you???? =)

Susan said...

Margerie is so smart! I think a cut-out is worth a try.