Simple easy ways to impress a landlord.

I have been a homeowner for quite some time. This is a good thing, since I am also a Realtor at times when I am not doing any of the other jobs I like to do (writing, decorating, entertaining).

One of my duties when I am being a Realtor is property management. I am a great landlord, and usually end up with great tenants. The lady from the Gas Company yesterday asked me how I pick a good tenant.

Here are few tips of what I (or any other decent landlord) might be looking for:

Well, let’s see, if you are going to email me, for crying out loud, spell MY name correctly, and try to get as many of the words in your email spelled correctly. I took first place in Riverview Elementary’s spelling bee, and if I am not mistaken, there is a flippin’ button for spell check, in case spelling isn’t your forte.

BTW, I understand that texting has somehow screwed up the English language, and we have our own little virtual shorthand, but you need to be aware that there are lengthier words that can be used on a computer. Especially when you are a potential renter. LOL.

If I give you the address of the house, chances are, the numbers are marked clearly on the house. Example: If it’s 123 Main Street, please don’t call me to ask if I mean the white house with the picket fence that is across from 140 Main Street. Chances are – if the numbers are not on the house you’re in front of – you are at the wrong place. Did I tell you that it was the white house with the picket fence that is across from 140 Main Street? Or did I give you the address – 123 Main Street? Listen carefully.

If you do come to view the property, and it isn’t for you, a simple, “Thanks, but no thanks” will do. I do not need you to tell me what problems there are with the place. You do not need to open and close every drawer – scoffing - if you have no intention of renting the place. This is not the Taj Mahal. Chances are good that the house wasn’t built yesterday with all the latest and greatest appliances.

Don’t be an asshole and say, “You’re asking HOW much for this dump?” Because I have 6 other people who would gladly step in a ring with the other 5 applicants, because they love the place. In fact, you are lucky I am considering you at all.

And another thing, if I tell you that I am having the electrical re-wired so that it works better in the room (and pointing to the plugs), you don’t need to point out that the electrical plugs are MIA. I just told you that. Listen carefully.

If the ad says that the house is available immediately, don’t tell me that you need a house in June. I am not going to just hand you cash for the next 3 months, simply because I think you might be a good tenant. If you are going to pay rent for the next few months, and then you want to move in, that is fine. But the world does not revolve around you. The ad didn’t say “house available in June”.


Spell check.
Listen carefully.
Don’t be an asshole.
Listen carefully.
Don’t expect me to “save” it for you.
Listen carefully.

In general? Don’t be stupid.

You only get one chance to make a first impression. Nobody likes an asshole.

Once you have passed these simple tests – you are a fantastic candidate for one of my rentals. Only then will I hand you an application so I can check references and do a credit check.

There you have it. Simple easy ways to impress a potential landlord. Doesn’t seem that hard, does it?