Come on, you know you want to! (Everybody's doing it)
Remember the movie Young Frankenstein from 1974 (starring Gene Wilder, Peter Boyle, Marty Feldman and Cloris Leachman)?
I have several favorite scenes from the movie, but one of the best is when Inga and Inspector Kemp (Teri Garr and Kenneth Mars) are standing in front of the huge castle doors.
I have several favorite scenes from the movie, but one of the best is when Inga and Inspector Kemp (Teri Garr and Kenneth Mars) are standing in front of the huge castle doors.
The Inspector says, “My what big knockers!”
Inga thrusts her chest out and says “Why, thank you!”
It just goes to show you that knockers are all in the interpretation.
There are big knockers and little knockers, medium knockers, perfect knockers, not so perfect knockers and even door knockers.
I used to have perfect knockers. They were tight and high and fabulous. I had a friend who was getting a boob job and she asked if she could take a picture and show it to the doctor so he would know what she was looking for.
And then I was diagnosed with cancer at age 36. My poor knockers never stood a chance against that one! I vainly decided for a lumpectomy so I wouldn’t lose my hair. Vanity being a bitch and all, my cancer was aggressive so I ended up with chemo and losing my hair, and having one breast that is an entire cup size different. Bra shopping is not fun. In fact, bra wearing is not fun. The poor smaller boob has been nuked by the radiation so much that it is riddled with scar tissue and feels like a cantaloupe (except not as big as a cantaloupe), although it does stand at attention. And the other one, well, gravity is starting to take its toll on that one. As far as the nipples go, well, think about Marty Feldman's eyes - one goes this way, and one goes that way.
I'm not gonna lie, for the past few years, this has really bothered me. And then I figured it out!
It just goes to show you that knockers are all in the interpretation.
There are big knockers and little knockers, medium knockers, perfect knockers, not so perfect knockers and even door knockers.
I used to have perfect knockers. They were tight and high and fabulous. I had a friend who was getting a boob job and she asked if she could take a picture and show it to the doctor so he would know what she was looking for.
And then I was diagnosed with cancer at age 36. My poor knockers never stood a chance against that one! I vainly decided for a lumpectomy so I wouldn’t lose my hair. Vanity being a bitch and all, my cancer was aggressive so I ended up with chemo and losing my hair, and having one breast that is an entire cup size different. Bra shopping is not fun. In fact, bra wearing is not fun. The poor smaller boob has been nuked by the radiation so much that it is riddled with scar tissue and feels like a cantaloupe (except not as big as a cantaloupe), although it does stand at attention. And the other one, well, gravity is starting to take its toll on that one. As far as the nipples go, well, think about Marty Feldman's eyes - one goes this way, and one goes that way.
I'm not gonna lie, for the past few years, this has really bothered me. And then I figured it out!
Boobs may come, and boobs may go,
but funny lasts forever.
~~ Hayley Townley, June 2008 ~~
~~ Hayley Townley, June 2008 ~~
P.S. I'm a guest blogger today at moritherapy's blog - her topic today is cancer. Please take a few moments to visit and see what I have to say over there!
2 comments:
I used to work in the lingerie department while in college. I have lots of knocker stories. I remember a lady asking for help for her fried eggs and I sent her to housewares. I was 19, what did I know?
Your knockers are not perfect, nor perfectly matched, but they have a story to tell and it is not one of vanity.
Love,
Your Frankenboob Friend
(who would scare the jeebeebus out of some girl in a lingerie store if she explained the scars)
k, love the post, and I blogged about it too, but silly shannon can't remember how to link, so check mine out too!! You are so right on about funny lasts forever!
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