How to SHORT SHEET a bed.

I thought the American public (and those of you who are on the opposite side of the world reading this) deserved to know the proper way to short-sheet a bed. 

Trust me - it's easier with pictures. The first thing I had to do was to pick one of my dog's toys to illustrate this (I don't have kids, so there are no random barbies or dolls or GI Joe's laying around). As you can see, the dogs have issues of eating the faces off their babies. I decided to go with Mr. Lion. Even though he is flat, at least he has a face. 

Start with an ordinary bed. I have colored coded this for demonstrative purposes: 
  • Bottom sheet is ORANGE
  • Top sheet is BLUE
  • Pillow is fuzzy teal (and yes it is a sock)
  • Bedspread is PURPLE

The first thing you do is remove the bedspread, and Mr. Lion. Perhaps you can give him movie money, or send him out for lattes.  You are left with the bottom sheet, top sheet and pillow

The top sheet is now going to become your bottom sheet. Simply move the top of the blue top sheet to the head of the bed, underneath the pillow. The orange sheet is now hidden by the blue top sheet. 

Fold the bottom half of the blue sheet to the top of the bed (simulating top sheet). You will see the orange sheet, but only in this step. You will notice that this sheet is "short" now! 

Bring the bedspread back to the bed, place it on top of the blue sheet and fold the blue sheet over the top of the bedspread (just as you do when making a normal bed). This secures it.

Walk away and snicker uncontrollably. 

Your friend, parent, child or whomever's bed you chose to "short-sheet", will try to get into the bed as they normally do. The "short" top sheet (turned into both top and bottom sheet) will only allow them to get their feet a few feet into the bed and cause mass confusion. 


Don't attempt to do this to a drunk person. Trust me, it will be completely lost on them. I know this from experience. 

If you are married, doing this to your spouse does not work, as you will ultimately be short-sheeting your own bed. 

A seasoned professional (me) can perform this in mere moments. 

If you are attempting this at home, please allow 5 minutes for the first time. Practice makes perfect. There is nothing worse than getting caught. 

Now go out and short sheet all beds you can! 


Susan said...

Although I've heard it lots of times, I never knew what "short sheeting" meant. Can you believe my brother never, ever did that to my bed? I wonder why not. He must not have known how.

Love you, love Mr. Lion.

Anonymous said...

Thanks Hayley!

I have not short-sheeted a bed in many years...but I have to say that I have always enjoyed doing so :)
*I feel that you have displayed a rather disturbing and professional approach with your method.
I will keep this in my current thoughts and perform this operation in my own guest quarters and on all the friend's homes that I visit.

Once again...thanks!

Jen said...

Thank you for this illustrated account. I have been short sheeted many times by my brother. Not in the last thirty years of course. I taught my son how to do this but since making a bed the real way is already a challenge for him it seemed hopeless. He couldn't understand why anyone would short sheet a bed... "If I have to explain you wouldn't understand"

Wendy said...

Fun! This was not big in my family of 5 kids, but could be a fun trick for our next family beach vacation - something to teach the next generation. Love your blog - thanks for the link!