11.27.2008

Happy Thanksgiving!

TWAS THE NIGHT OF THANKSGIVING,

BUT I JUST COULDN'T SLEEP.

I TRIED COUNTING BACKWARDS, I TRIED COUNTING SHEEP.

THE LEFTOVERS BECKONED - THE DARK MEAT AND WHITE,

BUT I FOUGHT THE TEMPTATION WITH ALL OF MY MIGHT.

TOSSING AND TURNING WITH ANTICIPATION,

THE THOUGHT OF A SNACK BECAME INFATUATION.

SO, I RACED TO THE KITCHEN, FLUNG OPEN THE DOOR

AND GAZED AT THE FRIDGE,FULL OF GOODIES GALORE.

I GOBBLED UP TURKEY AND BUTTERED POTATOES,

PICKLES AND CARROTS, BEANS AND TOMATOES.

I FELT MYSELF SWELLING SO PLUMP AND SO ROUND,

'TIL ALL OF A SUDDEN,

I ROSE OFF THE GROUND.

I CRASHED THROUGH THE CEILING, FLOATING INTO THE SKY

WITH A MOUTHFUL OF PUDDING AND A HANDFUL OF PIE.

BUT, I MANAGED TO YELL AS I SOARED PAST THE TREES....

HAPPY EATING TO ALL

PASS THE CRANBERRIES, PLEASE!

MAY YOUR STUFFING BE TASTY, MAY YOUR TURKEY BE PLUMP.

MAY YOUR POTATOES 'N GRAVY HAVE NARY A LUMP,

MAY YOUR YAMS BE DELICIOUS MAY YOUR PIES TAKE THE PRIZE,

MAY YOUR THANKSGIVING DINNER STAY OFF OF YOUR THIGHS.

~unknown

11.25.2008

Commercial Break

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11.21.2008

Everlasting Fun.

Come on, you know you want to play it.
WARNING: You will be singing the song all day long.




I think the only funner thing would be a slinky and an escalator. Yep. I may have to go to the mall later today and hit the toy store and the escalators.

SLINKY + ESCALATOR = EVERLASTING FUN.

P.S. Margerie, I think you should add this to the Christmas lists. Maybe not the escalator part (you have enough stairs), but definitely the slinky part.

11.18.2008

Can I get an editor, please?

If you just can't decide between a falafel and a falafil, this appears to be your spot.

I didn't know they made these things at a bakery. I also thought there was a C in there somewhere.
This is, apparently, IT.
Aww, phuket. 
I heart San Francisco! 

11.15.2008

Can you believe this? AAARGH

When I bought my last Verizon phone, I explained to the girl that it was so nice to be able to now transfer my contacts from one phone to another. She said it was new. She then sold me a "chip" to put in my phone to save and store all my information on. 

But guess what? She's a liar, liar, pants on fire. It doesn't store your contacts on it. Or your photos. It stores your music. But not your ringtones that you paid for and downloaded. Doesn't store the games you paid for and downloaded. I don't store music on my phone cuz mine is on my ipod. 

My phone went blue screen on Thursday night. I had to get a new one on Friday morning. And guess what? The little chip? Doesn't have anything on it. Nothing. Not one ringtone. Not one game. Not even one picture. And not one contact. 

Needless to say, I have no contacts in my phone. So, I apologize to Jessica for missing your birthday dinner. I honestly didn't have a phone nor your number, to call you back on. And to Jean - would have loved to met you for sunset happy hour (although we were booked, but I would have at least called you to tell you that). 

I guess we can pretend that this is clutter-busting at it's finest. If you still want to hear from me ever again  - shoot me a text (and be sure to sign it so I know who you are!) and I will add you back into my phone. 

And if not? I say good riddance. 

But please don't be mad at me if you haven't heard from me since Thursday. 

And yes, I have signed up for Verizon's contact saving info. I am having to pay for it monthly, which I don't really mind if it will back it up. But why didn't the little liar tell me about it the last time I went into the store? I'd like to knock her into next week. 

I shoulda bought an i-phone. You can bet I will when my contract is up. 

Signed, 

Traumatically yours,


Phone numberless and textless in San Luis Obispo

11.10.2008

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11.08.2008

Halloween. Finally!

I know, I know. I've been bad and haven't posted anything for over a week! After the fun of the Halloween party, I got a helluva cold/flu (I knew I shoulda got that flu shot!) I promised Margerie I would post something, and soon. She dittoed it. And I think that my buddy Darell was skywriting me to get my attention. Maybe he should blog instead. (hint, hint)
Great guesses on what I was to be for Halloween (Mrs. Roper, curtains, table), but nobody got it. Of course, I didn't make it easy. Pay no attention to the Coneheads having sexual relations.



Despite the rain, we had a number of attendants (100+). Some of whom I am still trying to figure out if I knew them or they were party crashers (Amy Winehouse, an elderly couple, a chipmunk, flapper, red/black goddess, mannequins, cows, The Sheet Family, Soccer Refs, pregnant nun and her lesbian lover, Tony Orlando and Dawns of the Dead, Dr. Phil, etc, etc)
In fact, the rain just made it more fun - as long as you weren't standing under the tarp when Beldar was releasing the water.


Please don't feel bad if your photo didn't show up. This is only from MY collection. Rest assured that whatever you were doing, and whoever you were doing it with, got caught on film.

So, now you know I am still alive. And now I really must clean my house. After the party and being in bed all week, I noticed that somebody messed it up. I am going to kick their ass when I catch who did it!

Love, Prymatt Conehead